His silence was speaking volumes. His silence told her everything. All she could do was sit there, feeling the hurt to the extent that her heart physically ached. Nothing had ever hurt like this before. She was hoping he would have the courage to tell her directly that he didn’t want this anymore. That he didn’t want her. But he was the biggest coward she had ever met. Maybe because he was in denial about how he truly felt. She was his first love, and he didn’t even know it at the time. Maybe he was confused about how a woman could do that to him. He had never come across that level of emotional depth until he came across her. She was everything he needed. That enigmatic personality. The strong souled woman who had been hurt many times over but still loved like she had never been hurt before. That once in a lifetime kind of woman. The one that would get away. Everything she felt was from the depths of her soul. She was it and this was no ordinary love. But he let it all go.
He let her go. And then she had no choice but to leave because he wasn’t man enough to admit she had been exactly what he was looking for. He let her have his heartbeat, but not his heart. He was guarding his heart like he had been the one who had been hurt several times over, not her. But the truth is, breaking her heart just proved he was like the rest. Breaking her heart made her stronger than she already was. He just failed to realise that in letting her go, he was experiencing his very first heartbreak. She knew how to mend her broken heart. But unfortunately for him, he didn’t.
The thing about a woman like her is she’ll always cross his mind and he’ll always wonder what if? But when his mind wonders, seeking the answers, he needs to remember it was all on him. He needs to remember; he was the one who didn’t make her feel secure, wanted, appreciated, respected and most importantly, loved. All she ever tried to do was show him what unconditional love was. But he was the one that was seeking her in other women who physically looked better. It was all on him. He only realised she was that drug, that addiction he needed once he let her go. They really could have had it all. And as much as she sobbed when he gave her no choice but to walk away, he also gave her wings to fly and find someone worthy of her love, who would help mend her broken soul. He only knew he loved her when he let her go.
Until next time,
The Unveiled Reflector x